As a person who has literally never had a girlfriend and I'm 21, I'd trade your shoes with mine in a heartbeat just to have something to cuddle to every night, somebody to tell me they can't stand not being around me when I'm gone. Can't say I'm not trying though.
Sucks to hear when you’re there- but wise words. Just do you. Focus on building yourself and enjoying life and yeah, that’s usually when you find love. Good luck. As for tradsies: few people would trade a house with problems for no house; but they would seek to trade for a house with less problems or would just hope to improve their house. Just the way of the world. We idealize what we don’t have, get used to it when we do, and want better. Nature of ambition, first world problems and all that.
You flee a war zone. No bed, little food. Always danger. Make it to a developed country. Menial job. Crappy bed, food. Relatively safe. Your life is done? You have all that you didn’t. Probably not. You’ll probably want a better place, better bed, more security, to give things to your kids you never could have. It doesn’t really end. So any relationship seems good when you have none, but don’t sell yourself short. Relationships have problems too, challenges unique to them. One of the biggest mistakes and self sabotages we can do in relationships is to idealize and dehumanize the other person. We are all imperfect. But most people want to feel special, and there’s nothing special about being with someone who would take anyone. What’s more- YOU aren’t the special one. You’re just a place holder for a person to project their idea of a perfect being into. They love the idea of you and not you. A bad relationship can do as much or more damage as loneliness.
But the truth is- one can be alone and not be lonely, or with someone and more lonely than ever. We are all lonely sometimes of course. But if you can’t be happy with you- neither likely can someone else. Gotta love yourself first, and part of loving yourself is seeing to your needs, and finding a partner who can care for those. Otherwise you just have a body pillow with feelings, and that’s not good for either person long term.
Thank you too vulture. I hope there’s some help in their. We’ve all been there one time or another, and (lol) had someone else tell us that. I know it doesn’t seem helpful much when you’re in that spot. There is a light at the end of the tunnel (another thing people always tell us when we are in that position lol.) You can do it. Double down on you. It’s a bet you can’t lose.
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· 4 years ago
Super attractive people like that usually aren't that good in bed, mainly because they don't have to be.
Sex is something you can both develop in if you are open for discussion. Tell her what you like and ask what she wishes you'd do. It's important also to discuss the possible fears or insecurities considering sex. Sexuality can also be a very sensitive subject so make sure you're both comfortable and supportive of each other.
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