So there I was, waking up, planned to rub one out, have a stogie, take a doodoo and get a shower, specifically in that order for obvious reasons. Everything was going swimmingly until I came in from the patio after the stogie; this damn bird followed me in. This was at 2AM. Why this bird was up, why it decided to follow me, whatever the goddamn Hell this thing was thinking is inexplicable.I tried to chase it around for two hours and throw a pillow cloth on it, but alas, while I had a few decent looks I was off by an inch or so each time and the dumb fucker kept flying into walls. Now, since it's dark outside, and the lights must be disorienting it, I've decided to wait until dawn; hopefully the Sun will coax him back outside. At least I know he pooped, cuz he pooped on a pillow, which is now in the washer.
Aye, figured that one out, but I need the Sun and I can't keep the door open too long, as that will allow bugs in and right now I'd much rather clean up after this bird than deal with the wrong bugs getting anywhere near my plants.
Meanwhile...
So there I was, delivering a message from the king but the guy was jerking it, so I decided to wait because respect. He came outside for a smoke and I tried to get his attention but he must have nut so hard he went deaf. So I followed him into the house. The fucker tried to throw the nut blanket on me! Fuck the message, you’re not sleeping tonight buddy boy. Imma crap on all your stuff
I also like how it decided to moon me while it was looking at that painting of a flower. Perhaps that's what attracted it in the first place? We will never know... unless it comes back.
So there I was, delivering a message from the king but the guy was jerking it, so I decided to wait because respect. He came outside for a smoke and I tried to get his attention but he must have nut so hard he went deaf. So I followed him into the house. The fucker tried to throw the nut blanket on me! Fuck the message, you’re not sleeping tonight buddy boy. Imma crap on all your stuff