Twin? No I said tits. I love tits, cuz I'm a straight guy. Tits are great and you should calm yours.

Calm your tits, bruh

Wut?

Da fuk

Only thing that matters

*NSA reading your letters*
"what kind of drugs do these kids take"

Yes, she is lovely

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nope, never has. She's a passive sweetheart.

Indeed, purring ball of fluff

Here
http://m.funsubstance.com/fun/284603/daily-dose-of-wait/

Yes

Chips, or popcorn, or something

Snacks for me. Not my cat

Sure, if you bring snacks

Don't take my kitty!

No... What is even going on here

O_o

These sentences don't need an Oxford comma, they're just poorly written.

I love Tennant, I love Smith. I was a bit surprised when 12 came and looked older, but I love him too because he's awesome.