I just realized I never saw a pig scratch. One of the rarest animals that actually can't scratch and watch stars and probably jump and sweat, besides elephants. Useless pig anatomy. When my grandma scratches herself against the wall we call that "pig scratch" or she-bear scratch and my father has a saying I should have j*rked on a rock so a pig can scratch its vagina instead I j*rked off into your mother and made you. Yeah.
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